I was dead but now I'm back.
I had the dreaded winter sickness and almost blew my nose right off my head. I think I'm on the upswing now, so no more dead.
I was trying to find a book to bring back for Borders story time (and I did find it), when I came across a drama-club photo album. It's mostly filled with the notes that accompanied the flowers I got for every show - we were flower sending maniacs. My favorites were of course Abby's, which often referenced the '80s and Barney, the man who lives in the Flynn's well. I found one telling me I was "beautiful as always," with no signature, then figured out it was from the crying ex-boyfriend. I noticed I was often called a sexy bitch, waaay before I ever actually became one (because, come on, I am. Aren't you? I think you are.) Conrad always wrote the sweetest cards and VDK's were the scariest. I didn't get any flowers the first night of my first show freshman year and I was absolutely crushed. I got about 25 on the last night of the last show of my senior year and had vases full of flowers all over the house. I know I say that I don't miss it at all, but I guess I do. I miss having all of my friends at the exact same place at the exact same times every day, wearing paint-splattered clothes and covered with dirt. I miss giving rides to the freshman. I miss listening to Counting Crow's "Mr. Jones" on repeat for an entire hour while I sorted nails and screws. I miss having a crush on seniors when I was a freshman and being crushed on by freshmen when I was a senior.
I feel like things are coming full circle - I'm slowly finding a group of friends like the one I used to have, who make me feel safe and warm and loved even when I say and do dopey things. I'm a freshman all over again.
A freshman with a big-ass frying pan, that is. Yay Christmas! I also got some big-girl luggage, the Victoria's Secrets puppies, Max and Lucy and a Pat Bereskin original piggy bank that looks like it's wrapped in yarn. I also got the yarn I asked for and I'm making a beautiful sweater sleeve.
AND I got a digital camera, so look out.
And I'm back from being dead. Hooray.
Since I brought it up, a non-comprehensive, ever-growing list of my favorite (and not favorite people)
Favorite:
It would be rude if I put some people's names up and not others wouldn't it? You be the judge if you're a favorite or not. But God love Kara Moran and her starfish jokes.
Not-favorite:
People who are always unhappy and bitchy
Trolls
People who make me cry
People who look like they are 12 and date "Connnn-rad"
My biggest arch nemisis, who constantly reminds you she is Jewish and asks you if you believe in the Holocaust. Luckily, I haven't seen her for at least four years.
Kirsten Dunst. She's a drunk, heinous bitch.
The Backstreet Boys.
I vacillate on whether to have headings like everyone else in my blog. For one thing, I'm a big fan of titles and bold text to divide the page. But everyone's doing it and you know me, if everyone's doing it, I probably despise it. And the headings would only make sense to me.
BUT since it's all about me, maybe I will. Maybe I will just sometimes.
I wonder what Abby is doing.
Add him to the list of my favorite people:
Bruno
There is so much knitting to do and so little time. I shake my fist at you, Christmas.
Connie the Hottie learned to knit last night. She's a natural, even when drunk on reindeer wine. I'm very proud.
The weekends always go so fast. Borders, gym, Borders, sleep sleep sleep gym sleep. I also made a great batch of French bread yesterday, which led to the most amazing meatball sandwiches ever.
Mmm, one of my super duper co-workers gave me baked goods and I'm eating the head of a sugar cookie man. It's definitely better than my sugar cookies.
Oh! I saw Mona Lisa Smile. It was okay, but very painful for me to watch. I couldn't stand everyone getting married. I did, however, fall in love with Julia Stiles' hair. The thing with Julia Roberts is that she can't be in a period movie because you never, ever forget that she's Julia Roberts. I think the movie had a good message but none of the characters really followed that message. But I love movies and I love friends and I love appetizers beforehand, so who really gives a crap?
I paid all of my bills this morning. Amazing. I'm just waiting for the cable bill to come in. Hopefully it will today as I leave for Iowa tomorrow.
I know! I'm so excited about it too! I've seen my parents every other weekend since Thanksgiving, which has been really nice/hilarious/fun, but I miss my Peep. Peep!
In time-honored Kristin fashion, a list of things I will do when I get to Iowa:
* kiss my Peep
* Call Aberone
* Eat everything in sight with Ab
* Knit
* See the gang
* Snuggle down in my flannel dog sheets
* Go to Whitey's. OHMYGOD I miss Whitey's.
...actually, there aren't a whole lot of things I want to do in Iowa this time. I think I'll just be glad to take a rest and watch movies in the basement. Most of the stuff I like to do I can do here, which is really great. I would, however, like to avoid the following:
* Ho-beasts
* eating my dad's red granola (which is what happens when you confuse vanilla with red food coloring)
* meeting my dad's running friends (who have deemed my dad a "bad boy")
* Farm & Fleet and Menards
I'm pretty sure I won't have anything to do at work today. How will I spend my time? It's frustrating. My job was extended through January, which is very good, but it's the holiday season and we're winding down and my boss is in Cancun, which is very good for her but very sad for us, since we're not there.
Connie, this post is for you.
Injuries in the past 24 hours:
* Left forearm - smashed into a bathroom stall/wall; outcome: very bruised, sore, and impeding crafting
* Left thigh - tried to put away large suitcase/duffel bag, not paying attention to the fact that the bag is actually larger than the doorway. Ran into bag and sad doorway, fell into bedroom over bag; outcome: my entire left thigh is purple and there's a huge, bumpy, knotty welt in the middle
* Entire right side of arm - called Mom to tell her about other injuries and ran into bathroom wall/doorway; outcome: I am a dumbass
And that doesn't even count when I totally wiped out in the parking lot on the way to the airport at 4:30 a.m. last Thursday morning. I now have a Bad Ass.
The following will go in my journal someday and will probably end up in my mom's as well. Writing helps a lot.
There’s a lot to say and, unfortunately, no good way to say it.
I was six the last time I was at a funeral. My Grandpa Joe, whom I didn’t know all too well but always gave me Oreos, was sick and passed away. I remember the coffin and eating M&Ms. My other grandparents took me home early because I was trying to get into a fountain.
So I guess when I went to my other grandpa’s memorial last week, I expected to be told to leave halfway during the service. I did most of my crying before it started, right after I noticed the sign that said, “Service for Charles A. Buel, December 12, 2003.” That’s also my dad’s name and I totally freaked out. And then I thought I saw my grandpa walk in, but it was really his best friend, Chester. I told my mom and she started to cry. (I would like to point out that she cried/practiced origami on tissues during the entire service, even though she said she was done crying before we left the hotel. She is a liar.)
My dad gave a good eulogy and didn’t cry. Chester had a Top 9 list of things people remembered about my grandpa. I looked really good (this comes into play later, when I captured the hearts of several old men). It was a nice service.
The reception was at my grandma’s house. The bartender had just had his esophagus removed and his assistant had two hearing aids. Revered Temme hit on me and we’re taking a trip his native Australia soon. Harold the Flirt was all up in my business, as well as the business of my mother and Mrs. Temme. Chester took me aside to tell me about his granddaughter living in sin with a boy in Italy. There was so much food (SO MUCH CAKE!) and a lot of bad vodka going around. (My grandfather used to put crappy liquor in nice bottles because he said the old people around there didn’t know the difference.) Grandpa would have had a good time.
Isn’t it sad that the time you spend grieving with family is the time that the deceased would have enjoyed most? Our splintered little family, barely held together by marriage licenses and very little blood relation, finally quit hating each other and had a really good time. It turns out that we were just fighting over Grandpa all those years. It’s a waste, really.
There are pieces of him all over the house (and I don’t mean actual pieces – his ashes were at the funeral home; Grandma didn’t lose him like we thought). His diabetes kits are in the guest bathroom; liquor dating back to my parents’ wedding is still in the garage. Nobody who really knew him well sits in his chair and there are golf clubs all over the house. It felt like he went out for bagels, running an errand or two. I could hear him say my name and feel his puckered kiss on my cheek; I saw him sitting next to my dad and holding his hand at the service.
All of his friends, most of whom I hadn’t ever met or hadn’t seen since I was very small, said that he was so proud of me. But really, it’s me who’s proud of him. I just wish he knew.
I'm about to fire the Klink Family.
I've entered the market. Not the stock market, but the celebrity market.
Celebdaq lets you buy and sell shares in celebrities (not with real money, duh.) I bought Beyonce, Justin, Orlando Bloom, Elijah Wood and Johnny Depp. Viggo Mortensen wasn't on the list. Neither was Ashton Kutcher, which I found quite odd. Or Paris Hilton. Yay for the BBC for ignoring the annoying people (but Viggo? Come on - he's Aragorn! He's the king in Return of the King!).
It took me an hour and a half to drive 16 miles to work. Ridiculous. There was only three inches of snow on the ground! All the schools are called off and it's illegal to drive without snow tires and/or chains. If this happened in Iowa, they probably would have made us go to school early just for the hell of it. That's the kind of thing they do in Iowa. I don't really remember school being canceled because of snow - mostly just because of the cold and the farm kids having to wait outside for the buses. My senior year was that terrible snow storm and we had Christmas break off as well as two days after it for winter weather. It was horrible because I couldn't leave the house and I didn't change my clothes for four days. Seriously. Abby said she didn't either. I don't think I even showered, it was that desperate.
My new friends have the added bonus of being good friends.
Thank you.
I worked through lunch yesterday and left at 4:00 so I could have dinner before I covered for someone at Borders. I had an anxiety attack in the car, which was strange because I haven't had one for a few months and I usually don't get them in the car. I knew something bad was about to happen but I couldn't figure out what. The drive was about 40 minutes and I was sick through the whole thing.
I get home and call my mom and tell her what happened. She says she knows why. I ask why and she says, "Grandpa died this morning."
He's been really sick since the end of October, and has had two or three strokes in that time period. He called my dad Saturday to say goodbye. He knew. My grandma was going to have to find him a nursing home since she couldn't take care of him all on her own anymore. He didn't want to go. Now he doesn't have to.
The funeral is Friday in Florida. I'm leaving on Thursday and will be back Sunday. I wish Penny was going to be there.
Everyone says he's in a better place now. I don't know if I believe that. What if he's scared all alone up there? Who will take care of him? That's what makes me the most upset. I don't want him to be alone. I hope Maggie and Ben were waiting for him, reading to play ball and chase sticks. He loved golden retrievers.
And I made him socks. He never got to know how much I really loved him. It's in those socks. I certainly can't keep them and I definitely can't give them to anyone else I know. So I'm giving them to his best friend, Chester. Maybe Chester will be my grandpa.
I wanted him to see me get married. I wanted him to see my babies.
I wanted to say goodbye.
My grandpa died this morning.
I had guacamole for dinner.
Now what?
It's a good thing I check my blog every 10 minutes for new comments, or else I wouldn't have known that a new issue of
Knitty is out!
Things I cannot explain:
1. Why being busy at work makes me happy
2. Why I only like summer sausage and no other kind of lunch meat
3. Why a woman repeatedly called my house last night asking for Captain Walker and why, at 9:30, I was in a dead sleep
4. Why I couldn't figure out my phone number when she asked
5. Why I wore TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SHOES at once TWO DAYS IN A ROW. Seriously. I just figured out that I did it this morning. And it's not like they were the same height - one has a chunky heel and the other has none. It's a wonder I didn't fall on my face. And how come I didn't notice until today? I did this on Tuesday and Wednesday. I would never have figured it out except I was looking in my closet for a pair of shoes and could only find one. The other was in the hall with the shoes I've been wearing all week, along with it's mismatched companion.
It's a wonder I make it out of the door at all.
I adopted two girls - the six year old wants a "play shopping basket and food," and the 10 year old wants a "personal grooming kit."
Oh god, this makes my heart break. This is much more important than yarn and anything else I could possibly do with that money. My day is finally worthwhile.
Being a good person
A work friend sent me a link to
Elann.com, which has amazing yarn prices (70% off on ribbon yarn!) and great patterns. I had stuff in the checkout cart, but then reconsidered when I saw my purchase would be $40, including shipping. (Of course, if I had purchased everything at full price, it would have been $78.) So I zeroed everything out.
Then I get an e-mail about "adopting" a child for holiday gifts. I'm going to do that instead.
If I didn't already have too much yarn, I would smack myself.
Why don't I live in
Portland?
I've been a busy little bee today. I can't decide if I work better in the morning or the afternoon. I'm definitely a morning person, but I can't bring myself to accomplish very much.
I took a half hour nap after spinning class this morning, rendering me quite confused when my alarm went off again at 7:10. But I was pooped.
Josh Groban, I'm afraid I don't like you. 50 Cent, I'm afraid I do.
Mom, please tell Dad he left his shower mirror in my shower. I hope he's not traveling soon. It's a good way to see if I got all the soap out of my hair.
I finished another gift. Two down, too many to go. It's a good thing I don't have a lot of friends.
Dinner sucked last night - don't ever eat a warmed tomato with spinach inside. And the tater tots could have used a little work, too. Let's hope tonight's dinner is better.
Mmm, speaking of dinner...to the Batgarage!
I think maybe I use this more as a bulletin board for myself so I don't forget things.
Dinner
Monday - Spinach-stuffed tomato, tater-tots
Tuesday - Dijon-mustard salmon and veggies
Wednesday - Pork tenderloin and potato pancakes
Thursday - Chili and...tater tots?
Friday - Jimmy John's
I figure if I plan what I'm going to eat I'm a lot less likely to have ice cream and pickles. I also realized that I have a lot of stuff in the fridge/freezer that won't be used this week. Hmmm. Interesting. I'm set for longer than I thought, I guess. Way to go, planning.
I don't think I follow "normal" American television viewing patterns. I don't watch any of the top 20 shows (I don't think - I haven't seen 3Q's rankings yet, so maybe I'm wrong) and I'm a big fan of all things cable.
Monday
RW/RR Challenge
(and tonight I'm going to watch The Simple Life - I love those Hilton sisters)
Tuesday
Whoopi
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, which I did not initially like, but now I love the first 45 minutes. I don't really care about the straight guys, actually - I just love Carson.
(this week, the new Tracey Morgan Show. I think I like that little kid.)
Wednesday
The West Wing
Thursday
NOTHING
Friday
NOTHING
Saturday
A lot of VHI and MTV after 6 p.m.
Sunday
Mostly E! and Style
I feel that in my chosen profession, I should be watching a lot more TV. But I hate CBS and ABC. Fox isn't so great, either. I do enjoy the Spanish channel, though, as well as Bravo.
So on those nights/hours when I'm not watching TV, I'm either reading or working at Borders. Yay
books!
